In a recent episode of Dave Ramsey’s financial advice show, a caller named Angela shared her struggle with financial control in her eight-year marriage. Angela, a stay-at-home mother of two, is married to a man who earns a substantial salary of $250,000 annually but refuses to share access to their joint finances. Instead, he provides her with a limited monthly allowance that is insufficient to cover their bills, leaving her with no savings.
Angela expressed feelings of being trapped and helpless due to this financial control, a situation that has persisted since their marriage. Despite taking a financial management course together, her husband has consistently resisted combining their finances. Angela attributes his behavior to a fear of relinquishing control, as he has been financially independent for most of his life.
Dave Ramsey and his co-hosts expressed concern over Angela’s situation, identifying her husband’s financial control as a form of abuse and a significant red flag in a marriage. Dave emphasized that such behavior is not normal or acceptable and can severely harm a relationship. He stated, “You’re not his daughter!” to underline the inappropriateness of the situation.
Dave advised Angela to seek help from a marriage counselor to address the underlying relationship issues. Since her husband had previously refused counseling, Dave suggested that Angela see a counselor on her own to gain clarity and strength. He also encouraged her to seek support from friends and family during this challenging time.
In addition, Dave recommended that Angela explore ways to become financially independent, such as getting a part-time job, to gain more financial security and power in the relationship. He suggested setting clear rules about money management and seeking a counselor’s help in having these difficult conversations.
Lastly, Dave emphasized the importance of planning for the future, especially since Angela has two children. He advised her to create a plan to ensure her and her children’s financial security, as eight years of this dynamic is too long to endure. Dave concluded by urging Angela to take action to improve her situation, stating, “Don’t stay in this.”
